Artemis Fowl movie review by Movie Review Mom

MOVIE TITLE:  Artemis Fowl

RATING:  PG

LENGTH:   1 hour, 35 minutes

Movie Review Mom GRADE:   D

IN A NUTSHELL:

Disney finally launched this long-awaited feature film on the Disney+ Channel.  I’ve never read the books by Eoin Colfer, so I was really excited to see the story.  The movie rights to Artemis Fowl were bought by Disney before the first book was even published!  Unfortunately, the film has been in development since 2001.  Eoin Colfer joked that it wouldn’t be finished until after he died.  Happily, he has a cameo in the movie.

Directed by Sir Kenneth Branagh, the film features magic, wonder, elves, dwarves, goblins, trolls, and so many other things that the film suffers.

Sadly, fans of the book HATE this film and have been posting very negative reviews, claiming it desecrates the brilliance of the novels.  It sounds like everyone would enjoy the books a LOT more than this movie adaptation.

TIPS FOR PARENTS:

·          * It’s watchable for kids.

    *  No profanity

*  You could talk to your kids about how Mulch was discriminated against as a tall Dwarf.

*  Fantasy violence and people/creatures in peril.         

THEMES:

·        “Let me show you the infinite possibilities of magic.” – Mulch  (Josh Gad)

·        Time to believe!

THINGS I LIKED:

·         

·        I loved seeing Ireland in the movie.  I had planned to go there last month, but was forced to cancel my flight and reservations due to Covid-19 travel restrictions.  The crew spent 2 weeks filming in Ireland in 2018 at Whiterocks Beach, Portrush, and Dunluce Castle.

·        Disney loves Josh Gad.  So do I, although his stand-up comedy is super dirty.  Josh Gad’s voice is so recognizable, but he tried really hard to change it for his character as Mulch.

·        Domovoi Butler was described as Eurasian in the books, but director Kenneth Branagh said he always envisioned Nonso Anozie in the role.  I liked him a lot in Cinderella (2015) (Theatrical).  Another change of cast was the role of Commander Root, who was a man in the books, but a female in the movie, played by Dame Judi Dench, kind of as an ode to her role as M, the Chief of the Secret Intelligence Service, in some of the James Bond movies like in Skyfall.

·      I thought the time freezes were fun, although I couldn’t quite understand the rules of its properties.

·        There were some humorous lines that made me laugh out loud.

·        Some good visual effects.

THINGS I DIDN’T LIKE:

·        I thought Sir Kenneth Branagh did an excellent job directing Cinderella (2015) (Theatrical) and Thor.  So, what happened here?

·        Mulch Diggums looked exactly like Hagrid from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.  

·        A lot of the characters growl their lines, particularly Dame Judi Dench and Josh Gad.  “A pair of hippos grunting at each other with an ear infection”, as Mulch describes it.

·        Ferdia Shaw plays Artemis Fowl.  Viewers are describing his performance as robotic. Agreed. It’s disappointing because I really wanted to like him.

·        The biggest complaint by viewers is that the characters are rather flat and uninspiring with no insights into their motivation.

·        That giant troll thing that was supposed to eat humans and elves within seconds didn’t fight very impressively.  He looked more like a bigger version of Mulch.

·        The world building of the elves didn’t make a lot of sense at times.  For example, why is there a centaur and why are they all human size?  Their world seemed to sci-fi and futuristic, rather than a magical, charming place.

·        Many of Disney’s live action movies lately have not been very good.  Although this movie is in a different category, it’s somewhat telling that Disney chose to send this movie straight to Disney+.

·        Soooooo much exposition and narration.

·        Much of the trailer was not even in the movie.  What the heck?  I thought the visual of that magical fairy in the white, flowing gown in the trailer was intriguing, but that moment is never even seen in the film.

·        Considering this movie is intended to introduce a new franchise, it’s not going to convert any new fans to the books.

·        They spent $125 million on THIS?

·        Artemis is supposed to be a criminal mastermind, but no…not so much.

·        I really like Colin Farrell, but sadly, he’s not really in the film much.

·        Surfing in Ireland?  Do they even do that there?  Fans of the book say Artemis would have never surfed.

·        It seems like more Irish accents should have been heard, right?

·        Lara McDonnell is cute but, for the first few minutes I saw here, I wasn’t sure if she was supposed to be male or female.  She and all of the other elves seemed like they should have been elves in a Christmas movie or something.

·        There was a random Italian wedding scene.  Why not a wedding in Ireland? 

     Some of the characters and images seemed borrowed from other movies.

FUNNY LINES:

·        “He cloned a goat and named it Bruce.  Weird choice.” – Mulch  (Josh Gad)

·        “Most people are afraid of gluten.  How do you think they’d handle goblins?” – Mulch

·        “Shut up, Riley.  Can’t anyone ask a rhetorical question around here?” – Commander Root      (Dame Judi Dench)

INTERESTING LINES:

·        “What I really want is to believe in you.” – Artemis to his father

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@TrinaBoice