Assassin’s Creed disappoints

Movie Title: Assassin’s Creed

Grade: D

Rating: PG-13, 116 minutes

In a Nutshell: I’ve never played this popular video game, but I was excited to see it, because my 4 sons have played it and the movie partly takes place in Spain, where I lived for 2 years.

This action film features actors I really like: Academy Award nominee Michael Fassbender, Academy Award winner Marion Cotillard, and Academy Award winner Jeremy Irons. With such a pedigreed cast, you would think this would be an incredible movie. Alas, it falls short, like most video game movies.

Uplifting theme:

Interesting question: Are people born with a predisposition to violence? What do YOU think?
“People no longer care about their civil liberties; they care about their standard of life.” – Ellen Kaye (Charlotte Rampling) Sadly, I think that’s true.
Free will, choices, good vs. evil.

Things I liked:

The look of the movie feels like the video game.
There is a lot of impressive Parkour action, although some of it looks fake. The stunt work was really great.
It’s imaginative and could have been really good.

Things I didn’t like:

Cal Lynch only goes into the past three times, which is lame because that’s what people are going to the theater to see, not the boring present.
There were some scenes with a lot of annoying drum beats.
There were a lot of dust storms that got in the way of the audience being able to see the Spanish landscape and what was happening, especially in the beginning.
There is a lot of mumbling, making it hard to understand what everyone says.
How exactly is that elusive Apple of Eden supposed to control free will? And the way to cure violence and anger in the world is by killing a bunch of people? What the…?
The plot is pretty nonsensical and confusing with frustrating story choices.
The movie ends with a dangling thread to set up a sequel that most people probably won’t watch.
The editing is super frustrating, because it keeps cutting to different angles really quickly and you don’t get to enjoy the action as much.

Interesting lines:

“Why the aggression?” – Sofia

“I’m an aggressive person.” – Cal Lynch

“You turn to violence. I turn to science.” – Sofia
“Love makes us weak.” – Maria (Arieane Labed) Do you agree with that statement?
“Tell my father I’ll see him in hell.” – Cal
“What do you want from me?” – Cal

“Your past.” – Sofia

“We work in the dark to serve the light. We are assassins.” – Cal Lynch
“We’ve been looking for solutions. You’ve eliminated the problem.” – Rikkin

Funny lines:

“Violence is a disease, like Cancer.” – Sofia

“Violence is what kept me alive.” – Cal

“Well, technically, you’re dead.” – Sofia

“You’re going to lead them right to it.” – Nathan (Callum Turner)

“No, I’m going to eat it.” – Cal

“I’m here to be cured of violence. Who’s going to cure you?” – Cal

Tips for parents:

You see people being burned at the stake during the Spanish Inquisition, although the shapes aren’t outlined very clearly.
Lots and lots of fighting, stabbing, and other violence.
There are subtitles that move pretty fast.
The video is rated for Mature audiences, intended for ages 17 and up. That alone might help you decide if you want your kids to watch this.
1 F-bomb

@trinaboice