Madame Web movie review

MOVIE TITLE: Madame Web

This new Marvel movie is now playing in theaters.

RATING: PG-13

LENGTH: 1 hour 57 minutes

MOVIE REVIEW MOM GRADE: D for Don’t do anymore Marvel movies, Sony!

IN A NUTSHELL:

Yep, it’s time for ANOTHER superhero movie and, yep, it’s about another spider. Oh goodie…spiders. The story features Cassandra Webb, a New York metropolis paramedic who begins to demonstrate signs of clairvoyance. It’s a standalone origin story for this enigmatic heroine who can see into the future and possibly change it for good.

THINGS I LIKED:

The cast is good and includes Dakota Johnson, Adam Scott, Emma Roberts, Isabela Merced, Sydney Sweeney, Celeste O’Connor, and Tahar Rahim.
Sydney Sweeny impresses me with her ability to be a true chameleon. She looked very Plain Jane in the movie Reality, but then turned into a crazy, hot young women in Anyone But You. She’s cute in Madame Web but is so much more talented than what the script offers her.
Very effective musical score, although sometimes, it overpowers the dialogue.
Good sound design.
Viewers will learn how to do CPR in one of the scenes, although it’s not entirely accurate.
There is some action and suspense.
Did you notice that Peter Parker’s relatives are in this movie? The film should have made a bigger deal out of that.
The door is definitely open for a sequel. Is that something you’d like?

THINGS I DIDN’T LIKE:

Sadly, this will achieve cinema history as one of the worst Marvel movies ever made.
Many of the action scenes look super fake, like they’re out of a video game.
Some of the dialogue is really terrible.
What was going on with those voiceover scenes when the villain was talking to Madame Web? His lips often didn’t match the audio. Worse than that, why does he wear a version of Spiderman’s costume? There’s no explanation.
If you haven’t developed Marvel movie fatigue yet, this one just might do it for you. Is it Marvel or Sony that’s stinking up this once magical franchise? No one will be surprised that it’s the same group of people that brought us the awful Morbius
Part of the magical formula for Marvel’s success was their sense of humor and being self-aware. Sadly, this movie has neither.
So many product placements prove this film is just another money grab.
Nineteen minutes in and the messy confusion begins.
The camera lingers on a giant billboard of Beyonce. Why?
Dumb and annoying teenage girls…
Hardly any Easter eggs at all. This film feels very unconnected from the Marvel world.
There are a lot of flashbacks and flash forwards that can be confusing.
Honestly, it’s NOT the worse movie like most critics are saying, but it’s certainly a disappointment.
I wasn’t familiar with this superhero before, as I’m not a comic book reader. I’ve heard some fans disagreed with the casting, but I had no expectations whatsoever.
We don’t get to learn hardly anything about the 3 young spider women, let alone see them in their superhero costumes for more than a few seconds. In the comic books, these characters are huge, but in the movie, they’re super ho-hum.
What? No end-credits scene? Nope! That should be illegal for Marvel movies.

TIPS FOR PARENTS:

Some profanity
A woman gets shot.
People are in perilous situations
Superhero action

THEMES:

Talk of illegal immigration
Talk of the foster program
Past, present, and future
Responsibility
Family
Trust

FUNNY LINES:

“You saved my stepmother and then were really awkward about it.” – Julia Cornwall (Sydney Sweeney) “Yeah. That does sound like me.” – Cassandra Webb (Dakota Johnson)

INTERESTING LINES:

“Us, strays need to stick together.” – Cassandra Webb (Dakota Johnson)
“I’m unwilling to accept a diagnosis of helplessness.” – Cassandra Webb’s mother
“Your mind has infinite possibilities.” – native guy