Bullet Train movie review

MOVIE TITLE: Bullet Train

This crazy action thriller is now available in theaters.

RATING: R

LENGTH: 2 hours, 5 minutes

MOVIE REVIEW MOM GRADE: B-

IN A NUTSHELL:

Bullet Train was directed by David Leitch, who used to work as Brad Pitt’s stunt double in multiple films! In this movie, Brad Pitt did 95% of his own stunts! We get to see a cameo performance of David Leitch when “Innocent victim” #17 gets blown up by a car. He knows how to create funny, crazy, and stylish action flicks like John Wick, Atomic Blonde, and Deadpool 2.

The movie is based on the 2010 Japanese novel “Maria Beetle” by Kotaro Isaka.

I’ve been to Japan and ridden their bullet trains, so I was super excited to see what this movie would be all about. I rarely watch a trailer before I see a movie to review, so I was kind of shocked by how violent and bloody this movie is.

THINGS I LIKED:

Brad Pitt, Channing Tatum, and Sandra Bullock had so much fun working together on this movie that Sandra invited Brad to join them in their Netflix movie The Lost City which came out just 3 months ago.
Brad Pitt’s character was so charming and entertaining. Top it all off with a Bucket Hat and this character will be memorable.
Joey King plays an assassin named Prince in this movie. Just a few months ago, she played a princess in the movie The Princess! Her action stunts are impressive in that movie, so I was hoping to see more of her moves in this one but she really doesn’t do much.
Ryan Reynolds plays Carver. Did you catch that?
Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Brian Tyree Henry seem to be fan favorites of the cast, apart from Brad Pitt who serves as the closet form of hero found in the story.
Fun fact: The combination of the briefcase is 805, which is the movie’s release date (August 8).
Fun twists and turns
Fast-paced, non-stop action
All of the characters are quirky, wildly irreverent, and entertaining.
Keep watching during the final rolling credits for another scene.
The fun musical score was by Dominic Lewis who also did The King’s Man.
The humor was always welcome, although it doesn’t always land.
The scenes with the fancy Japanese toilets on the train cracked me up. They really are amazing. I took my family to Japan a few years ago and we all absolutely loved it there. I’ve never seen such luxurious toilets before in my life. They can do so many things! One of the features is a perfect example of how thoughtful the Japanese people are: sound effects. You can push buttons that play music or make sounds so that other people in the restroom stalls near you can’t hear you, since that could be embarrassing. Cool, right?
The slow-motion sequences are always amusing.

THINGS I DIDN’T LIKE:

The movie goes off on so many tangents and backstories that it’s hard to feel fluidity in the story.
The movie spends a lot of time talking about Lemons and Tangerines. It’s supposed to be funny, but it gets old.
Acts 2 and 3 feel a bit messy and forced, trying to pack in so many characters and plot points.
There sure was a lack of train staff around to see or prevent all of the action going on inside the compartments!
The movie jumps back and forth in time a LOT, which might confuse viewers.
It seemed like Brad Pitt’s character should have been named Prince, not Ladybug, while Prince’s name should have been Ladybug. Anyone agree with me?
I wonder how much money Fiji water paid to be featured in this movie.

TIPS FOR PARENTS:

Profanity, including tons of F-bombs
Tons of violence with a high dead-body count
Lots of brutal, violent deaths
Lots of different weapons
Sooo much blood.

THEMES:

Revenge
Loyalty
Quick thinking
Friendship
Judging people
Answering for your crimes
Fate
The importance of family
Living with a clear conscience

FUNNY LINES:

“I have to process this. I have a good therapist.” – Ladybug (Brad Pitt)

INTERESTING LINES:

* “Everything I’ve learned about people, I’ve learned from Thomas.” – Lemon, referring to Thomas the Tank Engine (Brian Tyree Henry)

“You’re all in my story.” – Prince (Joey King)
“I have survived much more and much worse than you.” – The Elder (Hiroyuki Sanada)
“When we are so quick to anger, we are so slow to understand.” – Ladybug (Brad Pitt)
“Nothing in life is an accident.” – White Death (Michael Shannon)
“We prepare together or we die alone.” – The Elder (Hiroyuki Sanada)
“Maybe we’re all agents of fate.” – Ladybug (Brad Pitt)
“You have to control your fate before it controls you.” – The Elder (Hiroyuki Sanada)
“How do you know this is a bad thing?” – Ladybug (Brad Pitt)