The Meg isn’t wacky enough

Movie Title:   The MEG

Grade:  B-

Rating: PG-13, 114 minutes

In a Nutshell:   If you’re a Sharknado fan, you’ll get a kick out of this summer’s monster movie in the water directed by Jon Turteltaub.  The trailer made me think this was going to be a screwball comedy thriller, perfect for a bucket of popcorn and some laughs, but it actually has some serious moments too.  Yes, it’s wacky, but it could have gone over-the-top and been even more fun. 

If you want more serious films about sharks, check out 47 METERS DOWN or THE SHALLOWS.  This movie has a lot of Jaws movie references, but it seems also fully aware that it will never replace that epic classic. .

The movie is actually based on the book Meg: A Novel of Deep Terror with Meg: Origins by Steve Alten.  His daughter was used as an Extra in the movie.  It was filmed in New Zealand.

Tips for parents: 

• A lot of sexual innuendos. 
• You see Jason Statham in a towel just out of the shower…not that I’m actually complaining. 
• Some bloody, gory human, whale, and shark body parts.  It was going to be Rated R if Eli Roth directed it, but when hands changed over to Turteltaub, it became listed as PG-13.
• The Megalodon might scare young children.
• People, including children, are in peril.
• A lot of people die, which is to be expected in a shark movie, right?
• Some profanity.

Uplifting theme: 

• Friendship
• Family
• Loyalty
• Persistence

Things I liked:

• The cast includes fan favorites such as the studley Jason Statham, funny-man Rainn Wilson, the beautiful Ruby Rose, Bingbing Li, and Page Kennedy.
• Jason Statham is a serious action hero, but he’s able to take on this more comedic role with no problem.  He actually competed in diving in 1990 while representing England in the Commonwealth Games.
• Sexy Ruby Rose looks like the edgy rocker I created for my character in Rock Band almost 15 years ago.  She has been in the news a lot lately when she deleted her Twitter account because people said she wasn’t “lesbian enough” to play the role of Batwoman in the upcoming movie.  She actually almost drowned on the movie set while filming THE MEG.
• There is a tiny romance.  I love a subtle spark.
• The set pieces are pretty impressive.
• There is some humor, which I always appreciate in movies.  Rainn Wilson provides many of the funny quips.  It was great to see him again.  Fans of The Office: The Complete Series will love everything that comes out of his mouth in this movie.
• Shuya Sophia Cai is adorable.  One of my sons is marrying a lovely girl from Hong Kong next weekend, so I’m hoping that I get a super cute little granddaughter like her out of the deal (in a couple of years).
• The CGI is pretty good.  In the book, the Megalodons are almost clear, which was too hard to do in CGI, so the designers made them look like great white sharks.
• Musical moments from Finding Nemo, Jaws, and The Abyss.

Things I didn’t like:

Beautiful Bingbing Li’s native tongue is Mandarin, so I admire her ability to speak English.  I wish I could speak Mandarin better and readily admit it’s terrible.  Unfortunately, she sounded like she was reading lines from a script the entire time.  You’ll notice the very strong Chinese presence in this movie and many others that are now flooding the box office as Hollywood creates more partnerships with China.

• Ah, Pippen.  I would have liked to see more of him.  The dog in the movie JAWS was named Pippit.
• Full of typical characters that are stereotypes and disaster movie tropes.

Funny lines:

• “Why don’t you just put a tracker on it?  Don’t you guys ever watch Shark Week?” – Jack Morris (Rainn Wilson)
• “He looks heroic and he walks fast, but he kind of has a negative attitude.” – Jack Morris
• “I’m so glad I’m not crazy.” – Jonas (Jason Statham)
• “Tell me this isn’t the world’s best ‘I told you so.’” – Jonas
• “You know I’m not crazy.  I’m just seeing things nobody else has.” – Jonas

“That’s the definition of crazy.” – Meiying (Shuya Sophia Cai)

“I can’t swim!  Sorry, my body made me say that.” – Jack

• “I’d say it’s a great day to go fishing.” – James “Mac” Mackrides (Cliff Curtis)

Interesting lines:

• “It’s not easy being the person who survives.” – Jonas
• “It’s not about the people you lose.  It’s about the people you save.” – Jonas & Suyin

MOVIE REVIEW MOM

@trinaboice