After We Collided movie review

posted in: Drama, Romance, Teen | 0

 

MOVIE TITLE: After We Collided

RATING:  R   (The first movie in this franchise, After, was rated PG-13.)

LENGTH:   1 hour, 45 minutes

Movie Review Mom GRADE:    D for dumb

 

 

IN A NUTSHELL:

Did you see the teen romance film called After and actually like it?  If so, you’ll be thrilled that the sequel is now out.   You’ll see the same actors reprising their roles, as well as lots more skin and steamy scenes.

Honestly, I thought the first movie After was super stupid.  Obviously, I’m not the target audience for this.  In fact, the Movie Review Mom grade I gave the first movie was a C for crap.  Unfortunately, I’m giving this new movie a D for dumb.  I know there will be a lot of girls who think the film is super romantic and charming, but as a mom, I’m telling you that it’s garbage.

 

TIPS FOR PARENTS:

  • Some profanity and crude language, including LOTS of F-bombs.  A little boy blurts out profanity too, something that is supposed to be hilarious.  It’s not.
  • You seem a lot of stitches on a gross wound on someone’s upper arm.
  • Several bar and party scenes with people getting drunk and behaving badly.
  • A woman does Tequila shots off another woman’s belly and then kisses her.
  • Talk of drugs
  • Neither of the protagonists ever consider the consequences of their actions.
  • You see a guy’s naked bum a couple of times.
  • Lots of tattoos.
  • You see an unmarried couple going at it MANY times in many places and positions and with sound effects.
  • The main couple pretty much gets drunk any time they go out.
  • Two girls get into a foul-mouthed catfight in front of a bunch of people at a party.
  • In other words, there is a LOT of trashy content that you don’t want your kids to see, especially your daughters.  You don’t want them getting the idea that any of this behavior is acceptable.  Yes, I’m old-fashioned.  I believe girls and women should be much better than what is portrayed in this movie.

 

THEMES:

  • Love
  • Friendship
  • Forgiveness
  • Addictions
  • Toxic people
  • Choosing to surround yourself with people who inspire you and make you better, not drag you down.

 

THINGS I LIKED:

  • When is Selma Blair going to start aging?  Sadly, she’s only in one scene.
  • While I’ve never read the source material, I’ve heard that this sequel sticks closer to the book than the first movie did.
  • If you haven’t seen the first movie, you’ll get a quick glance of some scenes from it in the beginning.
  • Harbin gives Tessa her perfect day for a birthday present.  What would you ask for?
  • Trevor Matthews is one of the few likable characters in the movie, played nicely by Dylan Sprouse.

 

 

THINGS I DIDN’T LIKE:

  • You definitely need to have seen the first movie to appreciate the characters and their background.  Otherwise, they both just seem like jerks.   Then again, I kind of thought they were jerks in the first movie too.  Hardin and Tessa are both such a hot mess.  Why are we supposed to like them?  Tessa and Hardin’s relationship is supposed to be quirky and adorable, but it’s actually super annoying.  It’s all based on physical attraction and nothing deeper.
  • Sooo many characters in this movie are complete jerks with foul mouths.
  • If you’ve ever sent a manuscript to a publisher, you’ll be discouraged to see how many manuscripts end up on a giant pile.
  • Are we supposed to think it’s romantic when a drunk Tessa gets together with Hardin?  That’s true love?
  • In another dumb scene, Tessa says they can sleep in the same bed without going at it.  She says to him, “I would like to think we’re not Neanderthals.”  Nope.  The scene progresses and they prove they are.  All of this happens with Harbin’s mom in the room next door.  (eye roll)
  • Tessa is a brand new intern of only one day, so why would her boss invite her to an important event and pay for her hotel room?  If she was supposed to be helpful at the event, she wasn’t.  All she did was get drunk and make bad choices.  Super helpful.
  • Tessa and Harbin attend an acrobat yoga class accidentally and EVERYTHING is sexualized.
  • Tessa brings her cell phone into the shower?
  • Hardin gets drunk and yells at his father, “Don’t you have any sensitivity whatsoever?”  Pretty ironic since he screams that in front of a bunch of party guests in his father’s home.  Later, he smashes dishes and drinks some more.  When he’s not horny or drunk, he’s super mopey or angry and throwing things.  He was that same way with his father in the first movie, proving he hasn’t grown at all.  Wow, what a catch.  I can see why Tessa is so in love with him.   (rolls eyes some more)
  • Many of the characters in the movie have an extremely limited vocabulary.  Most sentences have an F-bomb in them rather than intelligent words.

 

INTERESTING LINES:

  • “I’ve chosen to forgive him so I can move on.” – Hardin’s mom/Trish Daniels        (Louise Lombard)  That’s actually the most powerful sentence in the entire movie.

 

OTHER MOVIES LIKE THIS YOU MIGHT ENJOY (although I didn’t):

 

WATCH THE Movie Review Mom YOUTUBE REVIEW WITH THIS LINK:

 

 

@TrinaBoice

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Author, university professor

Author of 23 books, university professor, mom of 4 awesome sons, movie critic, ice cream lover. Check out her world travels and tips at www.EmptyNestTravelHacker.com

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