Black Christmas movie review

MOVIE TITLE: BLACK CHRISTMAS

RATING: PG-13

LENGTH: 1 hour, 32 minutes

Movie Review Mom GRADE: D for don’t waste your time or money on this

IN A NUTSHELL:

What do you get when you mix angry female empowerment with horror, mystery, and Christmas? This movie. The original Black Christmas came out in 1974 with a remake Black Christmasin 2006, but I’ve never seen any of them, so I can’t compare. I’m assuming they HAVE to be better than this. Guys will feel like they’re trapped in a gender studies class with a bunch of man-haters. This disappointing horror was directed by Sophia Takal.

It’s not a movie with a social message. It’s a social message with a movie.

TIPS FOR PARENTS:

People get murdered, sometimes with bloody scenes.
A girl quickly puts her hand down her pants to put in a birth control device.
Girls talk about different words for pooping
Some profanity
Lots of alcohol
A drunk girl almost gets raped, and talk of sex
Girls sing a Christmas song about assault and rape culture. You know…that classic carol.
You have to read some texts
Teach your daughters some basic self-defense. Screaming and crying don’t work during an attack.
Violence

THEMES:

Social satire
“Every girl needs a little self-care.” – Kris (Aleyse Shannon)
Political activism and conscientious objectors
Peer pressure
Male vs. female
Friendship
Loyalty

THINGS I LIKED:

I’ve always liked Cary Elwes ever since I first saw him in The Princess Bride (One of my all-time favorite family films). It’s too bad he couldn’t be in a better movie.
Super creepy-looking snow angel in the beginning after the first murder. It made me think this movie might actually be creative and scary.
The creepy gargoyles around campus made for a perfect backdrop.

THINGS I DIDN’T LIKE:

For a horror movie, it’s really boring.
The very first trailer that Universal Studios and Blumhouse released had so many spoilers in it that there was a ton of backlash.
The sorority girls are soooo angry and such manhaters. None of them were very likable.
Disappointing ending with a very long exposition scene in an attempt to explain everything.
Some cringe-worthy dialogue.
Most of the acting is really bad.
There is no subtly in its messaging.

INTERESTING LINES:

“Men possess powers so formidable they can only be considered supernatural. With a proper education, men can wield these powers to go forth into the world.” – Calvin Hawthorne
“If we let men get away this certain type of behavior, then they’ll get away with everything.” – Kris (Aleyse Shannonn) “They already do.” – Riley (Imogen Poots)
“We’re not inspiring people. We’re pissing them off.” – Riley
“Women are inexplicably tied to men. Break us and you break yourselves.” – Cary Elwes

OTHER MOVIES LIKE THIS YOU MIGHT ENJOY:

KRAMPUS

WATCH THE Movie Review Mom YOUTUBE REVIEW WITH THIS LINK: