Fantasy Island movie review by Movie Review Mom

MOVIE TITLE: FANTASY ISLAND

RATING: PG-13

LENGTH: 1 hour, 50 minutes

Movie Review Mom GRADE: D

IN A NUTSHELL:

What’s going to be the worst movie of 2020? It looks like we found it. I was soooo sad to see the wonderful 1970s TV show Fantasy Island – The Complete First Season turned into this warped freakshow. They’re calling it a “reimagining” of the TV show for a horror genre. How about a remake of the actual show, which I loved as a little girl? I never saw the 1990’s remake but I heard that one wasn’t good either. Blumhouse made it even worse.

The only mystery is how this movie got made.

TIPS FOR PARENTS:

Violence
Dancing girls in bikinis and other outfits that show cleavage and lots of skin
A gay man parties with other gay men and does drugs
Talk of sex
Infidelity
Biracial couple
A couple is seen romping on a bed in a small video screen.
Some profanity, including 1 F-bomb
Bloody
People flip the bird

THEMES:

Be careful what you wish for.
“Regret is a disease.” – Mr. Roarke (Michael Pena)

THINGS I LIKED:

Michael Pena is great in comedies and dramas. Unfortunately, he shouldn’t have accepted this role, partly because the movie is just terrible and partly because he just wasn’t the right actor for the job.
The movie was filmed in Fiji. That’s a place that has been on my Bucket List for years! I want to stay in one of those huts over the water.
A few humorous moments.
Tattoo!
The film is so bad that I can actually see a lot of people having fun making fun of this.
Some attempts at humor.
The last line in the movie, partly because the movie was finally over, and partly because it was a wink to the original TV show.

THINGS I DIDN’T LIKE:

The cast was okay, but the characters were mostly annoying and cringe-worthy. You just don’t really care much about any of the characters and whether or not they die. Sadly, some of the acting was terrible too.
Dumb, messy plot that made no sense. The rules keep changing on the island, so you’re annoyed most of the time.
Cliched and predictable.
You see the scares coming long before they happen.
So much exposition. So many explanations. Such dumb dialogue.
The humor doesn’t land.
Boring camera work.
The twists and turns at the end of the movie are exhausting.

FUNNY LINES:

“1 star on Yelp.” – Brax Weaver (Jimmy O. Yang)

INTERESTING LINES:

“That’s why we ride roller coasters or see horror movies, right? To feel something.” – Melanie Cole (Lucy Hale)
“A hero is some guy whose too stupid to survive.” – Randall ‘s father (Austin Stowell)
“Revenge ain’t going to fix you. Only you can fix you.” – Damon (Michael Rooker)

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